Gold

Not the Spandau Ballet song (although that is a great track), but this clip featuring Steve Colbert.



It's been taken off YouTube, but it's still here!

An email chain letter

This came into my hotmail in box. I sent it back to people I don't really know.

You.

Can.

Only.

Type.

One.

Word.

Not as easy as you might think. Change the answers to suit you and then pass it on and return to me as well.

Remember: one word answers.

1. Where is your cell phone? desk

2. Your significant other? sleeping

3. Your hair? receding

4. Your mother? Yo!

5. Your father? Curmudgeon

6. Your favourite thing? life

7. Your dream last night? drunken

8. Your favourite drink? Crownies

9. Your dream/goal? improve

10. The room you're in? colleagues

11. Your ex? snakewoman

12. Your fear? unfounded

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? improving

14. Where were you last night? meeting

15. What you're not? dim

16. Muffins? english

17. One of your wish list items? Huh?

18. Where you grew up? here

19. The last thing you did? type

20. What are you wearing? clothes

21. Your TV? home

22. Your pets? nope

23. Your computer? breaking

24. Your life? living

25. Your mood? dyspeptic

26. Missing someone? yep

27. Your car? service

28. Something you're not wearing? cravat

29. Favourite store? liquour

30. Your summer? Where? home

31. Like someone? most

32. Your favourite colour? blueish

33. When is the last time you laughed? today

34. Last time you cried? secret

35. Who will/would re-post this? people

A toaster

I have a toaster at home, it is a Breville Icon. (According the Breville website it is $80. Target in Camberwell sells them for less than that.)

It is a swish looking unit. But it is a fucker. Why? Because it is hard to get the toast just right. If I toast bread at 3 it turns out too white, like my legs, but if I turn it to six, it doesn't get less white and more brown, it gets black.

Fuck. Why when I double the setting it doesn't it double the colour? Some other fucked arbitrary decision by the stupid fuck of a toaster is made, that results in a smoky kitchen and a payout from my missus? It's a shit.

Then the smoke alarm goes off, and fuck, what a disaster.

So I am left to toast my morning bread at a lower setting more often. And that takes time, and pisses me off, as there is a set way of doing things in the morning.

For me it goes like this:

• Alarm goes off
• Sit of edge of bed for about 2.5 minutes trying to move
• Turn radio off alarm onto radio
• Go to toilet
• Wash hands – turn on heater in bathroom
• Fill up kettle, because SOMEONE never does it at night
• Have shave
• Have shower
• Dry
• Turn on Sunrise
• Pour cup of tea for me, set HRH's up for later
• Have muesli
• Take vitamin tablets
• Have toast/drink cup of tea
• Make cup of tea for HRH
• Put dishes in dishwasher
• Clean teeth
• Get dressed
• Get to work

(Another interesting fact is that I have been having my morning cup of tea out of the same cup for at least 10 years, and I used it every day when I was at school too from 1989 to 1992 too. Who says I have a OCD?)

I need a routine. And the above does me. Out the door by 0730 most days. Up at 0615, I'm like a fucking clock!

More freaks have been looking at my site to. Another one typed in "Korean porn pictures. " This person was from the Philippines. I would have thought there was plenty of opportunities to get some over there (at least that's what I've been told), without looking on my blog for Korean Porn.

I was in Seoul in October 2004, and I was propositioned by a Korean prostitute while I was waiting for a cab in Itaewon. I assumed she was, although I could have been wrong, perhaps she was looking for directions. I never found out, as I don't speak Korean, and was to drunk to learn. Anyway, all I said to her was: Not tonight, bit tired. She was still hanging around looking for male companionship when I left in my cab. Sunrise, sunset.

I listen to Joy FM a lot. Lindy Burns shits me, so it's Joy or nothing. My mate Jay is presenting a show on Saturday morning with Chris called 'Four Play'. I would advise you all to listen to it. It is a good show, and I enjoy it. Rumour has it I might even get a shout out thi Saturday morning - excellent. Last time this happened the song that accompanied the shout out was 1, 2, 3, 4 by Steps. Magic.

I will have some news to announce soon, so make sure you return.