A toaster

I have a toaster at home, it is a Breville Icon. (According the Breville website it is $80. Target in Camberwell sells them for less than that.)

It is a swish looking unit. But it is a fucker. Why? Because it is hard to get the toast just right. If I toast bread at 3 it turns out too white, like my legs, but if I turn it to six, it doesn't get less white and more brown, it gets black.

Fuck. Why when I double the setting it doesn't it double the colour? Some other fucked arbitrary decision by the stupid fuck of a toaster is made, that results in a smoky kitchen and a payout from my missus? It's a shit.

Then the smoke alarm goes off, and fuck, what a disaster.

So I am left to toast my morning bread at a lower setting more often. And that takes time, and pisses me off, as there is a set way of doing things in the morning.

For me it goes like this:

• Alarm goes off
• Sit of edge of bed for about 2.5 minutes trying to move
• Turn radio off alarm onto radio
• Go to toilet
• Wash hands – turn on heater in bathroom
• Fill up kettle, because SOMEONE never does it at night
• Have shave
• Have shower
• Dry
• Turn on Sunrise
• Pour cup of tea for me, set HRH's up for later
• Have muesli
• Take vitamin tablets
• Have toast/drink cup of tea
• Make cup of tea for HRH
• Put dishes in dishwasher
• Clean teeth
• Get dressed
• Get to work

(Another interesting fact is that I have been having my morning cup of tea out of the same cup for at least 10 years, and I used it every day when I was at school too from 1989 to 1992 too. Who says I have a OCD?)

I need a routine. And the above does me. Out the door by 0730 most days. Up at 0615, I'm like a fucking clock!

More freaks have been looking at my site to. Another one typed in "Korean porn pictures. " This person was from the Philippines. I would have thought there was plenty of opportunities to get some over there (at least that's what I've been told), without looking on my blog for Korean Porn.

I was in Seoul in October 2004, and I was propositioned by a Korean prostitute while I was waiting for a cab in Itaewon. I assumed she was, although I could have been wrong, perhaps she was looking for directions. I never found out, as I don't speak Korean, and was to drunk to learn. Anyway, all I said to her was: Not tonight, bit tired. She was still hanging around looking for male companionship when I left in my cab. Sunrise, sunset.

I listen to Joy FM a lot. Lindy Burns shits me, so it's Joy or nothing. My mate Jay is presenting a show on Saturday morning with Chris called 'Four Play'. I would advise you all to listen to it. It is a good show, and I enjoy it. Rumour has it I might even get a shout out thi Saturday morning - excellent. Last time this happened the song that accompanied the shout out was 1, 2, 3, 4 by Steps. Magic.

I will have some news to announce soon, so make sure you return.