Some Google Reviews

Lately, I've been writing some Google Reviews.  So I'm gonna post some here as well.

They make me laugh and that's the main thing. 

Racecourse Hotel, Caulfield East

Changed a bit. I spent a good portion of my youth in this pub. The public has has gone. There used to be a great beer garden out the back, where you could sit and hear the trams go past. Now it's a gaming room. Probably not a bad thing that it's totally been renovated. Takes away the memories of the night I tried to pick the bar manager. And I was going well. Until Demolition Bob, started a fight with the other demolition contractor and it was all in. Blokes throwing punches and tables with beers being upended all over the place. As a coward, stayed on the side lines. I watched and kept drinking. When I saw the way the bar manager pick up 150+kg plus Demolition Bob and moved him out of the fight, I decided she was far too scary for me. I thought that in a moment of passion she would snap me like a twig. Anyways, it's nice that it's back after being closed for while. All good. The front toilets are a bit hard to find, but otherwise OK.

I Love Pho, Richmond

Was a good feed. Place is busy and had no air conditioning when I was there in late December. I reckon it was about 52 degrees in the place. Hot AF. The soup was OK. Tucked up between the kitchen and the dunnies is never flash. There's some turtle there called Reg, or Peter or something like that. He's not for sale or on the menu. Cheap enough. But I kind of got the feeling they cater for the Australian market more than the Vietnamese. It's ok.

Chemist Warehouse, Altona North

A chemist where you get drugs from. Why, oh why, do they change where the condoms are every week? It's embarrassing asking the young ladies who work there where they are. I'm sure they don't care. There's some SMS system now for scripts, but I sit and watch the view. It's most entertaining. Does anyone buy the sunglasses out the front? Looks a bit average now that the Autobarn and Medical Centre has closed down. You can still get a 12 inch at Subway next door. There are too many boxes on the ground that haven't been unpacked or partially done. Please fix this. Thanks.


Healesville Sanctury, Healesville

Lots of animals in an zoo. Some people want animals in cages, not me. I like to see them as free as possible while behind fenced and in tightly confined spaces. It can be dusty here, when everyone is around. Never a problem with car parking, but I can imagine it would get busy. We had the Koala experience. You can't touch the koala, just stand near him. I didn't get weed on, scratched or catch Chlamydia from being near him. The American chap who was doing the experience with us was most impressed that I had actually eaten a koala. Not when it was alive, that would be wrong. There's also a good brewery on the way back.

Coles Supermarket, Hawthorn

What can you say, it's a supermarket. As a man, I would like a Man aisle, that has everything I need in one place. Start with vodka and end with condoms. There would be plenty of space for cereal and Vegemite as well as other man needs, like tissues for us to cry into when our ladies leave us because we have all the emotional intelligence of a bag of frozen peas.