Time to update

I've been busy. Working, man. So I haven't updated as much as possible.

I am still getting the normal amount of freaks looking for porn on this site - more fool them!

I've also got an issue (one of many) with my computer. My virus protection is about to run out and I have no idea where to get another one from. So I'm downloading a freebie, I'm sure someone out there will help me.

Anyways, another long week almost over. Next week we move into our new house! Hoo-ra! Looking forward to it. Nice to be out of Hawthorn, but I'm not looking forward to the trip in on the train. Fuck it, I'll be right.

So, I've been thinking and I've got a list of 'Rules To Live By'. They are in no particular order, except hte way I wrote them. Enjoy and try to live your life by them.

• Clean your car, and don't leave rubbish inside it
  
• Don’t walk around smiling – you look like an idiot.
• Walk with a sense of purpose
• Steaks should be cooked no more than medium rare, unless you are pregnant or an idiot
• Don’t sit and read in the toilets at work
• Put your dishes in their proper place once you’ve finished
• When you’ve eaten put your knife and fork together
• Use deodorant, and even after shave
• Buy clothes that fit and are flattering to you – cheapest isn’t always the best way to go
• Buy a newer car, the difference in economy will add up, so too will safety features
• Offer a woman or an old timer a seat on busy public transport – don’t get up too soon though, otherwise some other man will take the seat
• Open doors for a lady
  
• Carry on when you’re young, because you look stupid doing it in later life
• Buy clothes that are suitable to your age – nothing is worse than people trying to look younger
• Put things away
  
• If you’re a man and going bald, shave it off
• Say ‘thank you’ when someone does something for you
• Respect your elders
• Call your parents once a week, at least
• Become involved in a community organisation
• Give your partner a compliment at least once a day
• Get an interest outside of home
• Be nice to receptionists
• Go out with someone who is smarter than you
• Always ensure that you earn enough to pay your rent – someone might walk out on you
• When you’re younger, put it out there a bit more
• Don’t hold grudges, forgive, but never forget
• Try to minimise the amount of time you spend talking on the mobile phone when on public transport
• Invite friends over for a feed
• Catch up with friends and don’t forget birthdays
• Keep a blog, if for no other reason than to amuse you
• Get to know your neighbours
• Eat less fat
• Walk more
• Always wash your hands when you leave the toilet, with soap
• Lay in the grass on a hot day
• The back (end) of your trouser leg should just touch the heel of your shoe
• Buy a pet
• Take a trip to the country
• Get your teeth fixed
• Put a whimsical tune on as your ring tone
• Be nice to your IT guys
• Talk to old people, they have a lot of wisdom. And some interesting views on today
• Try a new kind of dish next time you go out for a feed
• Go with your partner to a film they want to see
• Make the bed in the morning
• Use the toilet brush
• Clean and polish your shoes – those little dots on the front of a man’s shoe are usually urine splashes
• Write a letter
• Wash your hair when it needs it
• Buy your partner some music
• Buy your partner some flowers
• Don’t have any more than four servings of carbohydrates in one meal
• Iron your clothes
• Drink more water
• Remember that when you’re in a shout it’s about you buying a drink for someone else
• Follow a football team
• Be passionate about something
• Don’t feel obligated to sleep with someone on the first or tenth date
• Be wary of get rich quick schemes – if it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is
• Buy the best things you can afford and save up to get worthwhile items
• Your tie should just touch the top of your belt buckle
• When you put on a top, roll it up so you don’t get deodorant stains on the outside
• Cook sausages slowly, over a low heat
• Don’t put cloves into a ham when you are glazing it
• Try not to take advantage of people
• Treat people the way you would want to be treated
• Be free with your love – as the song goes
• Get to know your local butcher
• Have the courage of your convictions
• Don’t wear button down collars with a suit
• Pick your fights
• If you are in a fight, hit first and hit hard
• Join a sporting club
• Remember that the further the monkey climbs up the tree the bigger its arse gets.