Things I've learnt about having a child. Pt 1

I've decided to impart my knowledge of child birth to you all, as I am an expert. I'm writing up my thoughts on being a dad and having a child. I'll post them up where when I feel like it, and when I've completed them - enjoy (that's an order!).

Part 1 - It's not that hard

Some people complain about having a child. I'm a man, so it's doubtful I'll have to squeeze a watermelon out the eye of my cock (the Jap's eye, if you will), but really, with modern medicine it's a piece of piss for ladies today. We had a Caesar which wasn't that hard for me at all. And easier than a natural birth. I had to sit (one of my favourite things) and be supportive. I am fucking great at that! 20 minutes later, my daughter arrived. Easy. It's so easy, that the week before we were booked in for the Caesar, my partner went to the Royal Melbourne Show, with my parents, my sister and her son. Pregnancy can't have been too much of a drama!

There you go boys, when your missus is pregnant and complaining, about what you've done to her use that one as precedent. Say: I know a bloke on the internet whose missus went to the Royal Melbourne Show five days before she gave birth. What are you complaining about? Harden up!

Guaranteed to go down like a cup of cold sick with a pubic hair on the edge. At least you'll be remembered.

More to come.